Since then I have learned patience. I have learned to walk away and silence my anger. It was never easy at the beginning but somehow as time went by it became much easier and I was definitely much stronger of a person. To me I feel that it takes a lot more to walk away than to stay and get a heads on commotion. As I grew older, it became much easier to smile at contention and walk away. I don’t lose my pride, I don’t lose my friends or family, I won’t lose myself when I keep quiet and let one yell and talk and rudely comment. Because at the end of the day, I can walk away and smile and say, “okay you’re done? I have other things to do and have a nice day.”

I think some men have got to come to their senses sometimes. Honestly, what does it take for some men nowadays to realize that the so-called manly smell that comes naturally from one’s body is just not the best way to show the world how manly one is. I have come across a few, to be truthful, I’ve came across many men who were not too keen to use deodorant, which means asking them to put on perfume is just like asking them to cut off their penis and become a woman. I didn’t know that such men still exist in this time and age. It’s the 21^st century and smelling good is just part of hygiene. Honestly don’t think the animal planet way, producing the manly stench from sweat and armpit that smelt as if it was fungal infected is going to attract anyone to get close to them.

My scents

There were countless times where I entered an elevator happily and ended up feeling suffocated because some idiot did not choose to put on any deodorant and somehow managed to turn himself into a living skunk and contained his stench in the small space devastating all occupants in it. When he left, he left a legacy of stench. I so wanted to just say, “C’mon dude, here is my Chanel Bleu, please use some” but that would just waste my spit and my Chanel because I don’t think he would appreciate it since he has lived with his “so-called” manly stench for like forever. I know I am not only speaking for myself coz the people in the elevator were all cringing, trying to hold their breath.

I came out alive. Nowadays I would make sure that I don’t go into any closed space with men or women who are proud of their own stench.

Now, I am not saying that I am a walking flower, but at least I have the decency to put on something to help me smell pleasant.

It has been such a long time since I have had the time to sit down and pen words in my head onto paper, or should I say now in this modern age, blog on the web. Somehow I don’t really know if what I am doing is the best thing to do as I release the words in my heart into the world. Somehow when I blog I tell a story of my personal life, yet at the same time it can be read by many across the world. So my somewhat private life is no longer that private after all.

Maybe some of you may say why don’t you just write it in a journal and call it a day then. I suppose I have lost touch with hand written words. I find that I write faster typing and I can actually think better. If I am not mistaken when the year started I blogged and said that I am going to write on a daily basis.

Somehow that did not turn out to be a reality. There are times where I have actually turned on my computer and was ready to write but somehow somewhere something came up and I got distracted and then it was put on hold. Life is like that I guess, and that is one of my issues that I am working on getting better at. I tend to get distracted too easily. Just like work, I have so

much to do and sometimes I get too distracted with other stuff that I could not get what I needed to complete done on time. Not that I get distracted by useless matters; I just get so excited about doing something else when the ideas come and I would sort of leave project A to work on Project B and then so forth with Project C,D, and E. You may think whether I am serious when I said I have so many projects at hand. YES I am. I am sorta like the one man sh

ow act in the company I am working at now. I am not complaining about my duties, I am just stating a fact that I have been given a lot of projects to handle and sometimes I feel like the company thinks that I have one huge octopus headed brain and eight arms. In a way I guess that is a compliment.

All in all I am very happy with my job, and I love what I do. There are times where I felt like throwing an axe to some colleagues of mine, or felt like I

wanted to just burn down the computer system, but these are just a small price I have to pay to be in a pretty awesome company. So, life at work could be simpler, but I am happy for whatever reasons I am.

In the past few months, I have learned a lot about humility as well as patience. Work has definitely tested my patience a lot, and in many ways the

people I dealt and met with doing what I do, has humbled me. In many ways the women I met have definitely motivated me to reach for the stars and well be the best of me. You may wonder what company I am working for. .. that’s for me to know, and I don’t think it is time for me to reveal yet, but in time I may tell you who I work for.

It is already 122am, and I think I should get to bed. Let’s hope it won’t be

another few weeks before I write again.

When I started with my current company I was very happy as I was able to show them what I’ve got in terms of my expertise. I was able to adapt very well with the people and also the culture. However as time goes by, as I clocked in months in the company, I am slowly feeling a little tired of work. Somehow I feel like I am being overworked, expectations vs time given to complete is impossible. Somehow, there were just too many things going on. A lot of people have their own opinions, and I’ve been waiting for way too many people’s decision in order to just get one thing done. I have two major projects at hand. On top of that I have to manage beauty centers, mentors, manage my administrative matters. In this course, I have to say I am not able to cope with so many things. Not to mention, everything I do has to be done in three different languages. That is the tricky part and the part that actually makes a difference in getting my job done on time.

Somehow I was told early in advance that I will see the true colors of my position, meaning I should not be happy with my position because the work will finally catch up and I will finally be trashed because of workload.

I am currently just looking forward to find a new job.. though I love my job but somehow it is just draining. And this if I leave my current job, it would be the shortest job for me.. I am torn.

You can find it here…. www.convertmkv.net

There is just so much I want to say yet I don’t know how I am going to put it into words. So much in my heart and so much in my mind. My life has taken a huge change and people around me are changing. Gone with the old and in comes the new. I suppose I have been quite friendly in the past making it much easier for me to get hurt. The more I have “so-called” friends, who think that they do SO much for me, the more easier I get pulled down by them. So, I have decided to cut some old ties and build some new.

Sometimes some things are just better off left alone, and not mentioned. So, I am not going to put myself through the agony of remembering the good times, talking about what used to be with some “so-called” friends. I am done with them, and well, I moved on, so I shall now drop the issue.

As for work, it’s been a roller coaster ride so far. Not that it has been ugly or anything like that, it is just that one can’t get away from any office politics when one is in the corporate office or work in the management level. Somehow I can say that I’ve been quite stressed out with work. I am not complaining about having bad stress, but more of workload. I don’t have anyone helping me, and I am doing most of the stuff alone. I need to be more careful with the way I handle my time. Time is quite precious to me, and my goal is to have a more balanced life. Time for work, gym, my partner, and also myself. I have been neglecting my writing process, and also my reading. I have not read for ages and because of that I think my brain juice has just depleted. I got to find that balance. I really have to before work and life and love have no balance, and life turns chaotic.

As I have said, I am gonna be writing 3 things I am grateful for:

1. I am thankful that I am part of the Mary Kay family.
   
2. I am thankful that I am blessed with enough food to never go hungry.
   
3. I am thankful that I have a bf, Jamie who waited up for me making sure I am safe when I came home late.
   

    

1. In order to succeed, we need to dream, and dreaming is not the same as having a goal.
2. We need to be grateful that we are given challenges.
3. I am quite a whiner, and I need to change.
4. I learned that nylon watch straps can be quite awesome looking.
5. I learned that I have time management problem.
6. I am great!

Three things I am grateful for:

1. I am grateful for my family and their support and love. Being a gay Chinese, Mormon, and Malaysian is not easy.
2. I am thankful for Jamie my partner. He is an amazing man.

I am thankful for my job.

Now back to reality.. I think one of the main reasons why I have not been writing giving the excuse that I do not need to write is because I am quite content with my life. I suppose whenever I wrote it was always to vent or to release anger or emotional distress, and when I am not in that situation, I just did not write. I need to cut that habit and start to pen down my thoughts more often. Somehow I feel that my thoughts are just flying away into a void where if it is not written down it will disappear. Lately it has become rather bad. I just can’t remember things like I used to. I suppose I better write down my emotions and experiences on a daily basis in order for me to remember what sorta life I’ve lived in. I do worry somehow. I wonder am I going too public with my life and thought if I share what I feel with the cyber world. Then again, I don’t think my life is exciting enough for anyone to follow.

It’s funny really how sometimes our lives take its turn-sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worst. I suppose the best is to always expect the worst but pray for the best. I am still trying to balance that. In the Law of Attraction, it is said that one should always think positively believe the best, and yet the best way to avoid disappointment is to expect the worst. This balance is definitely not easy to keep or even strike. All I know and have learned from my personal experiences is that I should believe in the best, and have faith that things will turn out right, but the process may be tough and the process may be daunting; however, it does not mean the rainbow will not come. Just not yet.

Think that’s all for tonight … it’s almost 1 am and I need to get up in a couple of hours to work. Till then good night my cyber reader friends.